Just Passing Thru

Friendly Competition Between Siblings

10:15 PM

Competition between siblings almost always have a negative connotation. Visions of fights, spats, and strategical movements to come out ahead easily come to mind. However, there is such a thing as friendly competition between siblings that does not seek to pull down each other but rather seek to bring out the best in each.

Training in Progress

My children's school holds their yearly intramural and cheering competition by dividing grade school students into three groups comprised of the red, the blue, and the yellow teams. Every team will be made up of students from the the grade 1 level up to the grade six level to ensure a more or less balanced composition in strength and capabilities. For the second year in a row since my two children found themselves together in the grade school department, my son belonged to the red team while my daughter belonged to the blue team.

Since they belong to two different teams, it can be quite confusing hearing them practice their cheers at home. Each one would try to be louder than the other with my daughter trying to outdo her Kuya with her choreography. My son would usually just continue with his more subdued movements and would laughingly allow my daughter to prevail.

Unity in Competition

On competition day, they will be dressed as opponents as signified by their colors. They will go to school ready to fight it out as best as they can to contribute to their respective groups. For an hour or so while performing, they will cease to be siblings but just be part of a group which they represent.

Once the winners are announced and the identifying colors stripped from their wrists, they become siblings once again, accepting defeat gracefully and cheering for the victory of the other. They have given their best and fought well and they are as good friends as ever.

My Say

I like observing my children when they are pitted against each other in a friendly competition. The situation I see them in gives me a clue as to what could possibly happen in real life. My youngest daughter is still understandably a little self-centered, demanding at times to be given favor because she is the youngest which my son would usually accede to. My daughter has her shining moments though when she acts like a mother to her brother by fixing his things, his clothes, and his projects given her ability in crafts.

That said, I am praying that they will be able to develop a stronger relationship as they grow older. I am hoping that their different views in the future would not destroy their sibling relationship. I am looking forward to more opportunities for them to unite in spite of differences for I know there will be many such occurrences in their adult life. So let the friendly competition between siblings begin!

Ambos Mundos

My Comfort Food - the AMBOS MUNDOS RESTAURANT ANECDOTES Third of a Series

10:34 PM


Scene from the movie "Ratatouille"

Eating comfort food can bring us to scenes like the one depicted above where a very harsh food critic suddenly turns mushy and warm after eating a dish which reminded him of his mother's home--cooked ratatouille. The first bite transported him to his childhood and brought comfort to his otherwise cold existence. I have my own comfort food which is a dish I will always associate with our restaurant - Ambos Mundos Restaurant and a happy and secure childhood.

Comfort Food

Many people define comfort food as food that is easy to eat or rich in calories which in effect gives physical "comfort" to the body. It is also defined as food often traditionally prepared which carries nostalgic or sentimental appeal to a person. The latter meaning refers to the psychological effects of food which is used either to increase positive feelings or relieve negative ones.

The willful consumption of comfort food is usually related to emotional stress. A person undergoing extraordinary pressures may seek comfort in familiarity . Seeking people for comfort such as siblings and parents may not always be possible because of distance or death but there will always be a way to find one's preferred comfort food. Eating comfort food is also done during happy times as a way of connecting the past to present successes.

My Comfort Food

Growing up with my family operating Ambos Mundos Restaurant, I was fortunate to have access to most of the more popular Filipino and Spanish dishes at any time I wanted. Among the many available dishes, I have set my heart and taste buds to one particular dish. This is the Tortang Alimasag.

Torta in Spanish has different culinary meanings. In Tagalog-speaking regions however, torta refers to a kind of omelette typically made of eggs, the chosen main ingredient such as ground meat, and minced onions as well as potatoes. It would be easy to surmise therefore that my Tortang Alimasag makes use of crab meat as the main ingredient since alimasag refers to a sea crab.

The Memories Involved

During my childhood days, I would often watch the kitchen helpers and the waiters pick meat from freshly-cooked crabs to be used for the Tortang Alimasag. It was usually done after the lunch time rush hour since these crabs will be set out in a row on tables. This was probably the most relaxed time of the day in the restaurant since everybody were practically resting as they went about this task of picking crab meat.

Those who were doing the task will settle around the tables and proceed with their storytelling and bantering somewhat akin to a family sharing jokes with each other. Sometimes I understood their stories, sometimes I didn't but this has not prevented me from sitting with them and joining the fray. Looking back, these adults' tolerance of my childish presence was as much fun as waiting for the first batch of crab meat that will be used for my Tortang Alimasag.

My Say

With my father and most of the previous employees of Ambos Mundos Restaurant long gone, I still find myself looking back at those times when everything was a lot simpler than now. There were no complicated conflicts and machination of personal interests. It was living day in and day out, happy and contented after a day of honest work in spite of the occasional drama that life brings.

Today, I cook my own Tortang Alimasag in the way I best remembered it during the Ambos Mundos days. If someone were to ask me how, I probably wouldn't be able to describe it in words but my hands will know the way and my tongue will confirm it. Every bite brings me back to a time when I felt so secure that absolutely no one and nothing can hurt me.

That said, comfort food is not necessarily a form of escape but a way of remembering good times in the face of bad times or happy times.

Batang Pera-Henyo

The Making of a Pinoy Batang Pera-Henyo

4:50 PM

What would it take to develop a Pinoy Batang Pera-Henyo or a Filipino child finance whiz? Can children develop sound financial habits and ideas on their own? It is possible for a child to have his or her own investment portfolio in such a tender age?

Savings Statistics in the Philippines

Available statistics with regards to the savings behavior of Filipino families are quite worrisome. The gathered numbers indicate that there exists a disproportionate rate of savings in relation to income. What is more disturbing is that the amount of savings becomes lesser as the income goes higher.

This would therefore make the common notion that the reason why Filipinos are unable to save due to lack of income quite irrelevant. It would appear that the main problem lies in giving lesser importance to the value of savings. Another critical data in relation to this is that which presents a picture of Filipino families cutting back on important items such as education rather than on other expenses which can be seen as "luxuries".

Teaching Children About Money

Adults who do not have the necessary financial discipline often find themselves in a financial bind. Studies reveal that it is difficult to instill behavioral changes among adults specifically in the financial aspect although it can be done. That is why there is a greater need for training children to start early on savings. Young people are generally more malleable and are able to absorb ideas and practices more readily than adults who have already established ways.

The problem with this scenario specifically in the home environment is that it will be adults who will be doing most of the teaching to the children. If the adults in a household have no idea about financial soundness, how can they can be expected to teach their children? Parents are in an ideal situation where they can lead or influence their children towards good ways. Before they can effectively lead or influence however, they must know in which direction they are taking these young minds.

The Batang Pera-Henyo Conference 2012

With these concerns in mind, School Talk has organized a conference called the "Batang Pera-Henyo Conference 2012" which is slated to happen on November 17, 2012 from 9 am to 6 pm at the Vista Center in Worldwide Corporate Center. School Talk has been focusing on the education of the children and the youth primarily through learning events such as this and their interactive website. The events also seeks to involve the active participation of parents and educators in the common goal of creating the best learning experience for a child.

This event enlisted the participation of 200 people composed of parents, educators, and children aged from 13 to 21. They are expected to participate in this one-day event which will tackle concerns in personal finance and money management. This event hopes to start what could be a continuous means of parents helping their children in money matters without actually having to bear the burden of giving money the rest of their lives. Home schoolers and youth organizations are encouraged to attend this event as well. Several speakers will be handling the topics scheduled for the day that includes Good Money Management and Financial Planning for Parents and Kids, among others.

My Say

It is impossible to produce financial wizards overnight whether they be adults or children. It would need constant practice to really inculcate the values and behavior required for financial success. However, the starting point is always the most critical.

That said, people who are willing to make a change towards financial success are not always equipped with the right mindset and knowledge of effective processes that can help them achieve their goals. I intend to start my own journey towards this path hopefully with my family by attending the Batang Pera-Henyo Conference. We all can benefit from a push towards positive results.

family and parenting

Realities of Parenthood

9:58 PM

When I was young I had a notion,

That parenthood was no mean obligation,

That there is no need for commotion,

And such heavy emotion.

Soon enough I found out,

What the heck it was all about,

And there was no trace of doubt,

For my children I will face a bout.

Parenthood

Parenthood is defined as a state of being a father or a mother to a child or children. The scientific definition is quite cold as it refers to a parent as any organism that produces another or is simply a source or origin of the offspring. In the human context and in some animal species, parenthood is much more than giving birth to a child in the case of the mother or providing the means to complete the process of procreation in the case of the father.

Parenthood carries the responsibility of raising and nurturing a child. It includes providing for the physical, emotional, material, and all other needs that will help a child develop into a responsible human being who is expected to continue the cycle to his or her own children. It also includes involvement in the many idiosyncrasies of growing up and a child's path to self-discovery.

The Parenthood Journey

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories" [John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester]

Most people think that they know what they are getting themselves into when they decide to get married and have children. They have certain standards and rules set for all the members of the family to follow. They find out soon enough that there is not such thing as hard-fast rules in raising children. The journey of parenthood is marked by adjustments, compromises, and giving.

Parents will have theories of how they should bring up their children and then there is reality. All theories are usually based on an ideal setting wherein everything happens as planned. Since a family is composed of human beings each having their own will and thinking, it would be a miracle if a family proceeds through life without any hitch.

Acceptance of Parental Responsibility

Parents will have to eliminate the thinking that they can control the children. Control is only possible up to that time when children need it such as in very early childhood. Once the children can think on their own, parents would have to be ready to adopt to the situation. Acceptance of the very essence of the parental role makes it a lot easier for parents to understand how they should approach parenting.

Children will have to be provided with their physical and material needs and parents have to work to be able to do this. Children will need emotional support and parents need to be present in their children's life to give this. Children will need to do some growing up on their own and parents need to step back a little to allow this.

My Say

Parenthood has humbled me a lot. As I learn more about my responsibility of guiding my children as they grow up, the more I understand that extraordinary opportunity I have been given of helping mold a human being not by force nor by authority but by love and dignity.

That said, parents will do well to dream, hope, and persevere while facing with strength and wisdom the realities of parenthood.

biological sisters

Sisterhood - the Relationship Between Sisters

5:34 PM

The topic about the relationship between sisters is often talked about in connection with friendship and rivalry. If we were to look over the hundreds or thousands of book synopsis and articles published about it, there seems to be a common occurrence of the positive and negative aspects among women who have sisters. True sisterhood appears to be more than blood connection as girls who became women discovered.

The Home Scenario

There may be varying situations in every home that houses biological sisters. Variations may occur because of age difference, the number of other siblings, and even economic conditions of the family. The home scenario typically establishes the rights and authority that each member of the family has over the others. Although parental authority is generally automatic, sibling authority is usually subject to birth order and other situations that would require such delegation of authority.

Siblings are encouraged to share. Common things that sisters share include the bedroom, clothes, and school things, among others. This situation "forces" sisters to live their lives in connection with the others because of the constant physical proximity and the responsibilities they have with each other for being sisters.

Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a natural occurrence in most families. It can happen even without purposeful intent to engage in it. This probably arises from the fact that children have to "compete" for the attention of the same set of parents. Among siblings rivalries, rivalries between sisters can be one of the most bitter and most exhausting.

In childhood, it can simply be a contest of who gains the most approval from parents. In adulthood however, the contest can cover more serious things that can affect the relationship between sisters. One issue that is directly related to this is favoritism by parents. When one child perceives that one sister is more favored than her, there arises a desire to prove that she has what it takes to be the favored one.

The problem with this situation is that a silent competition may be waged on an unknowing sister who just happens to be the "favorite" of the parent and who has not knowingly asked for such favor to the detriment of her other sisters. Many women carry this grudge against their sister throughout their lives thereby affecting what could have been a beautiful relationship between sisters. Openly competitive sisters likewise present another problem in maintaining the essence of sisterhood.

Friendship

When women refer to their best friends as "like a sister", it can be somewhat inaccurate in the sense they can never really approximate the role of a sister who is likewise a friend. Sisters have the unique advantage of shared history which most current friends will not be able to identify with. Referring to a friend as like a sister is more of an acknowledgement of how good and close the friendship is.

Sisters who are likewise friends to each other enjoy an incredible source of support that cannot be matched by other friendships. It is a friendship that knows and accepts individual weaknesses and strengths and rarely has room for pretensions. A sister-friend is a comfort in times of troubles particularly in issues that counseling from women is needed.

My Say

Having sisters or siblings for that matter provides us ready sources within which to cultivate meaningful relationships. The reality however is that most of us find ourselves going into the other direction as we build walls instead of bridges . Sometimes we are caught up in situations we cannot control which leads us to this.

That said, it is never too late to rebuild sibling relationships. Strained relationships between sisters, brothers, and siblings can be mended. It just needs one to start for real sisterhood or brotherhood to prevail.