Growing old with one's spouse is probably the dream of many married women. But what happens if fate decides to take a different turn in the death of the husband. Does the widow need to redefine her identity to shift from a couple-centered existence to an individual who creates an altogether different version of herself?
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Widowhood in Olden Times
Back in the day, widowhood was synonymous to sudden financial vulnerability for a woman, whether stay-at-home or working. There were also social constraints that may restrict movements and actions necessary to take care of a family with no partner. Women who have to conform with rigid customs where she loses her legal identity upon marriage may not even know how to start over.
Widowhood in Modern Times
The passage of time has made it a lot easier for widows to cope. The ability to hold their own jobs, have access to proper financial planning, live in a time where there are more lenient social norms, and avail of assistance from support groups all combine to give widows more resources to thrive and develop as a person or as the remaining head of the family.
Widows as Individuals
Widowhood in Modern Times
The passage of time has made it a lot easier for widows to cope. The ability to hold their own jobs, have access to proper financial planning, live in a time where there are more lenient social norms, and avail of assistance from support groups all combine to give widows more resources to thrive and develop as a person or as the remaining head of the family.
Widows as Individuals
Transitioning from a couple-oriented mentality to an individual mentality is one of the most radical lifestyle change especially when it is not intended or planned. This does not mean however that the widow forgets and erases the memory of the husband. It is more about finding one's self apart from the marriage while using the memories and learnings derived from it.
My Say
Although my husband has always known me to fight for what I believe in, it is a fact that we always talk about matters for decision. I miss the feeling of security that he will always be there whatever the result of our decision may be, especially during the first few months from his passing. Eventually, I got the hang of it and rediscovered who I was before I became a wife and a mother.
That said, my identity has not changed. I still carry my husband's name with pride but with a redefined identity. An identity that is me and an identity that I hope my husband and children will be proud of...still.
My Say
Although my husband has always known me to fight for what I believe in, it is a fact that we always talk about matters for decision. I miss the feeling of security that he will always be there whatever the result of our decision may be, especially during the first few months from his passing. Eventually, I got the hang of it and rediscovered who I was before I became a wife and a mother.
That said, my identity has not changed. I still carry my husband's name with pride but with a redefined identity. An identity that is me and an identity that I hope my husband and children will be proud of...still.
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