How to Create a Great Marriage...Because It Doesn't Just Happen

6:16 PM

At one point in my life as a young girl, I entertained the idea that marriage is supposed to be like a fairy tale romance where husband and wife were always happy. Reality lost no time in making me realize that nothing can be farther from the truth. It turned out that just like other husbands and wives in any part of the world, we had to create a great marriage because it doesn't just happen. No sir.

The Main Goal in Marriage

Great or good marriages for that matter are created when husband and wife commit to face the good times and bad. This is not a place for fair-weather friends who can only be found when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. This is because going through rough times in marriage is as sure as the sun will rise but surviving these together, stronger, and better, is the main goal.

What Constitutes a Great Marriage

Commitment remains the key to a great marriage. It is not the absence of conflict but rather the commitment to resolve it. It is not about being happy all the time but the commitment to dry the tears of your loved one when going through trying times. It is not simply about staying but the commitment to stay and continue nourishing the relationship. There are so many couples who stay together in one home but have long ceased to be together in mind, heart and spirit.

How Can You Create A Great Marriage

1. Learn to forgive and ask forgiveness. 

This goes both to yourself and your spouse. Everyone is bound to make a mistake. Spouses will just end up hurting each other over and over again if forgiveness is out of the picture. An important caveat here is to try one's very best not to repeat wrong deeds that have already been forgiven lest the essence of forgiveness is lost.

2. Have a healthy sense of humor.

Spouses can count on the fact that not everything will go as planned. If one or both will allow anger and frustration to rule, then marriage can become a battle ground. Having a healthy sense of humor allows couples to look on the brighter side of things which usually leads to a solution.

3. Respect each other as individuals.

Married people should stop attempting to completely change their partners to be like them. It simply wouldn't happen. This doesn't mean however that no effort should be exerted to be more part of each other's life by sharing interests. Two people can be happily married couple enjoying doing things together without losing their individuality in pursuing their own interests as well. 

My Say

My husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary but we go way, way back. Our story is the stuff of which telenovelas are made of that our relationship was literally touch-and-go many times. I couldn't count how many goodbyes we said to each other during the early years.

That said, I'm glad we are still together and that is how I expect it to be until the end. We still fight, oh yes we do, but time has mellowed threats and tantrums. With God's guidance, I know we will stay together.

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