I don't exactly know how I survived this first Christmas after losing my husband.  Maybe the anticipation of holiday grief is more dreadful than living through the actual day. It's also possible that the people surrounding me just did a good job in making me feel that there is life even when grieving.

Based on observation of other people, I seem to be coping with grief fairly well. If coping means I still have the energy to wake up and go about my daily work; if it means being able to still laugh, sing, and dance; if it means taking care of myself, if it means I still fight fiercely for what I believe in, then yes, I am coping. 

What many don't know is that for me to be able to cope on the outside, I need to accept and go through the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with losing a loved one. It is not an understatement to say that every corner of where I go is a constant reminder that future memories will no longer include him. Knowing this, is responsible for much of the pain.

Calm Days and Moments of Melancholy

Calm days are something I am most thankful for. It gives me a sense of normalcy in this particular life disruption. Moments of melancholy or having feelings that go beyond sadness come in waves, usually unexpectedly.

The struggle not to have these moments noticed by others is real. I don't like spoiling the mood of festive activities. Most of the time I am able to fake it, but sometimes it is just too much. Family and friends are incredible sources of support and love, accept them.

Moving Forward

Going into the 10th month without my husband, I can say that things and situations associated with him have become more bearable. I have no illusions that all pain will go away in time but I truly understand now that we learn to live with it and still live a fruitful life. I totally believe that I can honor my husband's life best when I am able to carry on. For now, our children remains the priority. Self-development is a close second.

Our memories will remain with me whatever I decide to do in the future. 

My Say

Deep in my heart, I wish he is still with us. That said, I pray that he can still guide our family from above as I try my very best to complete our parental duties.

We will never forget you Ramon. I am so sorry I was not able to put up the Christmas Tree for this past holiday. It has always been your "job" to do it yearly. 

My son finally accomplished something he was meaning to do for quite some time now. This is to be a duly recognized member of the Knights of the Altar. I believe he sees it as his way of serving God.

These young men marched in a procession initially wearing only the black alb. Their respective parents assisted them in donning the white surplice at the appointed time. Not long after that, they were all acknowledged official members of the organization.



No one can be happier than my son during that moment. That is why I know he is doing this because he really wants to serve God in his present capacity. As parents, we can only be supportive and thankful that he is choosing the right path for himself.



The Altar Severs' Tasks

It was actually refreshing seeing young men putting attention to their spiritual formation. Today's time does not make it easy for many of them. That is why this is an occasion of great joy. 



Altar servers' duties in performing support tasks for the altar such as fetching mass implements as needed by the priest, carrying the cross, and ringing the bell, among others may be viewed as non-essential by some but their presence and participation is considered integral to the celebration of the mass. They are expected to be seated where it would be possible for them to easily assist the priest celebrant.  While at least one altar server would suffice for a regular mass, the number is increased depending on the occasion. 




My Say

A lot of my friends upon knowing of this latest milestone in my son's life, has been teasing me that I may yet have a priest for a son. I will let my son and God decide that. All I ask is that he is able to accomplish what he wants, whatever path he chooses to take. Given his very keen interest in voice acting, anything goes for now. As my son is wont to say, he can always serve God in whatever field he finds himself in. True!

That said, for now his innate kindness serves him in good stead. 

Once in a child's life, there is bound to be someone who he or she will remember as a person who spun and told tales so fantastic and captivating that childhood will never be the same without those storytelling episodes. The archetypal storyteller to young children is often an old woman such as the grandmother in the house. While the English have their Mother Goose, Filipinos have Lola Basyang.

Image Source

Image Source: aliwtheater.com.ph

The Character

The original version of the story portrayed Nancy as a 16 year-old high school graduate. Later versions changed her age to 18. Having lost her mother at a very early age, she was taken cared of by her father, lawyer Carson Drew and their loyal housekeeper, Hannah Gruen. She has feminine Bess and tomboyish George as her best friends. They both help Nancy in her detective work.

Her family is well-off which explains why she is able to travel and solve mysteries at a very young age. Most of the stories hint that she gets paid to solve mysteries by clients of her father. At the time she was introduced in 1930, she was presented as a very confident and assured female, something which was not common then. A number of notable American female personalities known for their strength in character have pointed to Nancy Drew as a formative influence.

Interesting Facts

The Nancy Drew character was created by Edward Stratemeyer who believed that a woman's place is at home (quite ironic huh). Several writers using the generic pen name Carolyn Keene wrote the novels. The first four published stories were instant hits which left many publishers wondering why. Nancy Drew just celebrated its 85th year this year. Her character has been used as well in movies, tv series, and games, a tribute to her enduring appeal through the years.



Passing on the Reading Habit

I have noticed that my youngest daughter likes to read books. She shows extreme interest in what I did during her age. She wants to know what my favorites were and has the tendency to imitate them. That is why I wasn't surprised when she came home today with 2 Nancy Drew books borrowed from the school library. Did I mention that she recently became a member of her school's Book Club after I shared to her that I was a long-time member of my school's Library Club?

My Say

I am sometimes wary that my kids may not like what I used to like so I hesitate to recommend. But the moment they show even the smallest interest like what my daughter did for the Nancy Drew books, I grab the opportunity to regale them with stories of my own childhood. It's amazing that our ages which are decades apart do not matter when we share moments like this. 

That said, I regret that I was not able to save most of the books I had when I was a child. It is good that the books I used to read are still available today so I can still talk about them while they have the benefit of actually reading these same books for themselves.  Passing on the genuine love for books and reading is quite a feat in this time and age where technology lords it over the kids' attention. If they were to imitate me for anything, then they might as well be the positive ones. For now, the Nancy Drew phenomenon lives on in my daughter and hopefully for other young girls in other parts of the world.

There are times that we are tempted to ask what we can get from our country. Let's think about that for a moment. For one, it provides us our home in this place we call earth. It also gives us our identity as Filipinos. Seems to me, this is enough to be thankful for especially if we consider that some people have to fight and die to have these same privileges up to now.

With the coming 117th birthday of our dear country on June 12, also known as our Independence Day, it is but fitting to think of ways we can give back to this very significant geographical entity we call The Philippines. It is very timely as Jollibee asks: Anong gift mo sa Pilipinas? I choose to answer this question with my family.




My eldest daughter's gift to our country is to be the best migrant worker that she can ever be. There is no room for mediocrity or "puwede na". By showing what Filipino workers are truly capable of, we help create an image for our country that is not only positive but beneficial to those who would decide to work abroad in the future. Working overseas does not make one less patriotic especially if the income generated is funneled back to the Philippine economy.


My husband promises to be the steady foundation of our family by continuously upholding positive Filipino values and doing his duties with love and acceptance. By doing so and by being a good father, he hopes to give our children a good head start towards becoming responsible adults and Filipino citizens. Every productive citizen is an asset to the country.



As for myself, I resolve never to give up on our country, even in the most uninspiring times. I will continue to do my civic duties. I will promote the good side of the Philippines without turning a blind eye on the bad. Most of all, I hope I can use whatever talent or skill I have to make even the slightest ripple that can contribute to national progress.



My Say

To borrow one of John F Kennedy's famous lines, " Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country..." , it is important to realize that a country can only be as good as its people. If we are contented with mediocrity, if we focus on the bad rather than the good, if we refuse to do away with bad habits, if we avoid our responsibilities, and if we give up on our country, we have no right to ask for a better Philippines.

That said, here is my family's collective answer to the question posed by Jollibee:

Like most Filipinos, our family eagerly awaited for the arrival of Pope Francis in the Philippines today. It did not matter that we were not able to go physically to the welcome route. The first glimpse of his face from the window of the plane that brought him to our land as seen on our TV screen was enough to fill our hearts with joy and hope.



The Pope Francis Charisma

What is so special about Pope Francis? So many things have been said about his simplicity and down-to-earth nature that have endeared him even to non-Catholics. His persona goes beyond the external manifestations like opting for simpler papal vestments, using public transportation whenever possible, and living in the guesthouse adjacent to St. Peter's Basilica rather than the papal apartments of the Apostolic Palace used by his predecessors.

It is the evident humility of a leader who preaches service to others and actually starts with himself. Wherever he goes, he is quick to remind the faithful to focus on the message he brings in the name of Jesus rather than himself. Admittedly, that is somewhat hard to do, especially for a society that continually hungers for a clear symbolism of the good in these very turbulent times.



The Mission of Pope Francis

Pope Francis brings with him the message of Mercy and Compassion. This serves as a fitting reminder especially to the Catholic flock that our faith will have more significance when it instills in us the value of practicing it with mercy and compassion towards other people. Bestowing mercy and compassion is not simply limited to the materially poor but also to those who are suffering from any form of deprivation.

Seeing the big crowd patiently waiting even for the briefest glimpse of Pope Francis as shown in the live coverage of several networks, I just couldn't help but wonder how greatly impacting it would be to our society if each and everyone would decide to follow the pope's lead towards practicing mercy and compassion. The smile on the faces of the people who were able to see him up close is indeed a refreshing sight compared to the grief that has become very familiar on screen with the passing of several natural calamities. Even I who was just watching from afar felt a lightness within as he breezed through the crowd like a holy apparition. 

My Say

Many of us have been waiting for the Pope's arrival in our country. While I was able to join the crowd in Pope John Paul II's last visit here, that would probably be impossible for me to do now. I would have liked to do so with my family especially for his scheduled visit to my alma mater, the University of Santo Tomas but alas there are commitments to take care of. 

That said, my enthusiasm for his visit is not at all dampened. I know that the strength of our faith is not measured merely by our physical presence in such momentous events. My family and I share in Pope Francis' call to minimize focusing on ourselves to be of service to others especially to those who are in dire need of assistance. While Pope Francis may not be able to miraculously remove all the ills in our society, here's hoping that we can find that inspiration to create the miracle starting from ourselves.

Business signs didn't matter much to me then. Except when they are exceptionally unique or humorous, I probably wouldn't even notice them. That was before I saw this video from Coca-Cola. Today, whenever I see one, I wonder at the story behind it and think of the person and reason behind it.



Women Entrepreneurs in the Philippines

Women have always been at the very foundation of businesses whether be it in small-scale sari-sari stores or in big corporations. In the Philippine setting, this is very evident in small to medium-sized businesses where the women entrepreneurs are into the day-to-day operation. We usually see them performing all roles related to the business, seeing no need to make any distinction as long as it will help push the business forward.

It is no secret that most women face many barriers when they try to succeed in the marketplace. It was never easy to penetrate it and it still isn't. Recognizing that women all over the world form the pillars of the business system, Coca-Cola has taken the initiative to help women entrepreneurs through the 5by20 Program.

The 5by20 Program of Coca-Cola

The 5by20 program of Coca-Cola is the company's global commitment to empower 5 million women entrepreneurs throughout its value chain composed of producers, distributors, recyclers, suppliers, retailers, and artisans. It seeks to address the most common barriers encountered by women in their bid to succeed in business. This it hopes to do by providing women access to business skills training courses, financial services, and connection with peers and mentors. Through this initiative, these women are expected to gain the confidence that comes with building a successful business. The target year is 2020, thus the name of the program.

In the Philippines, it is quite common to see small businesses named after their owners. This has much to do with the sense of pride that goes with owning a business. Women entrepreneurs display such pride and they show it in their business signs. 

To understand this behavior a lot better, watch this special Coca-Cola Video entitled Signs of Happiness. The visible signs we see are signs of happiness since every business owned by a woman does not only benefit herself and her family but the community as well. That is the secret of happiness in operating a business - having a reason for being that goes beyond self.

While going out of Aristocrat Restaurant after a hearty lunch, my children's attention were caught by many people, particularly tourists, having their pictures taken just across. When they asked my husband and I what that place was, we told them it was the Baywalk. The very instant we said that, we knew we have been guilty of not properly introducing them to the City of Manila, a place where we were both born and spent most of our young lives in. 




Manila Boy, Manila Girl

That is how my husband and I have always been - Manila-dwellers, courtesy of his mother who lived since birth in Paco and my father who had his roots in Quiapo and Sta. Cruz. Although his father and my mother hailed from their respective provinces, we never got to the point of actually living in them and so it has always been Manila for us. We were happy living in Manila as we grew up but certain circumstances made us decide to raise our family outside it.

Strangers to Manila

We wanted a quieter place essentially. That decision resulted to my children being strangers to Manila. I hate to admit it but the things that stuck to their mind most about the city is its noise, dirt, and danger.  Now we know, we should have tried harder to balance that view. 

Discovering Baywalk

One look from my husband and I knew we were going to do something about it. Instead of getting inside our car to go home, the four of us crossed the street, hand in hand, to discover Baywalk with our children. Of course, the first thing they requested was to ride the calesa, and so we did.



Then came the picture-taking with the statues that were placed along the stretch of Baywalk. There was the statue of Arsenio Lacson, the legendary mayor of Manila. There was also the statue of Maximo Soliven, a prominent Filipino journalist and newspaper publisher. Of course, we didn't miss the statue of Lapu-Lapu, the first native who resisted Spanish colonization, just across Baywalk, specifically in front of Malate Church. The experience was actually like a fun way of learning.


My Say

This simple experience certainly provided my husband and I the chance to reintroduce Manila to our children. Though it will never be perfect, it will always be a city worth discovering. Now they are asking if we can go to Luneta, Manila Zoo, and other places which my husband and I have frequented in our childhood days but have somewhat felt "too ordinary" for them to visit because of the high-tech generation they are moving in. We couldn't have been more mistaken.

I have always had a preconceived idea of what an ancestral home should look like. Of course, it should be old-style preferably in the era of my childhood. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to think of our present home in such context.



These photos show a typical home of a bygone era and the quiet street in Manila where it was located. The old house of my husband's family was actually located behind this house. It has long been replaced by a residential building, just like the many other old houses that used to stand proud and lined the streets of Manila. 



Indulge me this moment as I try to explain what I think a family ancestral home represents:

The Roots of a Family

A family ancestral home can represent the roots of the family. This is the place where it all began and where relationships have been formed and nurtured. The location wherein the house is located is where the family comes from.

The Continuity of a Family

Ancestral homes are supposed to be houses that have been kept by families for many generations. In effect, it can represent family continuity especially if kept well-maintained and livable. There is something so broken about deserted and dilapidated family homes, almost as if reflecting the current state of family relations. I may have watched too many telenovelas for my own good so you have to forgive my dramatics sometimes. It's just that I can't help feeling that way.

The Bond that Holds the Family Together

An ancestral home can be the bond that holds family together. It can be that magnet which will keep on attracting the return of its former occupants who may already be based in other places. This is especially true if a parent still lives in it. In the absence of any living reason to come back, then good memories will serve the purpose.

My Say

As I was writing this, I realized that an ancestral home need not conform to any particular appearance or style. It is actually the essence of the house that matters more. 

That said, as we live our lives, we might find ourselves traveling far from our place of origin but there will always be something that will call us back. For many, the ancestral home and what it represents will be it.

No, this wasn't planned at all, spending Palm Sunday morning in the busy and crowded Quiapo Church that is. I easily get nauseous in crowded places and I would happily settle having my palm blessed in a church where there are less people. Actually, I have been doing exactly that for so many years now until I found myself in Quiapo last Palm Sunday. So I did the unthinkable (for me) and dove straight into the sea of palms held by sweaty hands like mine, enduring the heat inside the church to perform one of the Lenten traditions that I have known all my life.




No Stranger to Quiapo

If you are one of my regular readers, you would know I am no stranger to Quiapo. In fact, I spent a lot of time here because of our family restaurant Ambos Mundos Restaurant. But back then, I had my mother to assist me when I felt faint due to the heat and the crowd. Part of my prayer that Palm Sunday morning was for me to survive the one hour mass without making a spectacle of myself by fainting and it was granted.

The Feeling of Oneness

It might be my sentimental side running on full gear again because I felt that unmistakable feeling of oneness with the faithful who were hearing the mass that morning. These are people I do not know and would probably never know. I felt everyone's need to unburden their troubles just like me and saw it on their faces with eyes closed shut, intent on prayer.




Expression of Gratitude

"Ay salamat, salamat" (thank you, thank you)...these are the exact words uttered by an elderly woman beside me after being showered by holy water while the palms were being blessed. It is as if what we just went through freed her from her earthly anxieties and troubles. Her face showed her genuine happiness and I wondered just how good it must feel to be that way.

My Say

It is without fail that the Quiapo Church will always beckon to me to come in, regardless of the purpose I may have for coming to the place. Maybe because my family has hurdled a lot of troubles through prayers uttered inside this church...maybe because God knows one of the heaviest burdens I carry is associated with this place...or maybe because I simply need to rest my tired mind and exhausted body.

That said, I know God knows.

During the Lenten Season, most people would only be thinking of two things: spiritual enrichment and physical relaxation. Many plan out-of-town trips while others choose to stay close to home while observing traditions associated with the season. It has always been the latter for our family because we grew up believing that the days of the Holy Week are best spent rejuvenating spiritual and familial connections.




I spent Holy Tuesday night watching a modern cenakulo entitled "Bunga ng PagGAWA" with my family. It was actually a first for all of us in such setting. My husband and I had watched once in different places during our younger days but those were a long time ago. We could hardly remember the details but of course the universal message of Christ's supreme sacrifice remained with us. 

What is the Cenakulo?

A cenakulo is a Lenten play which depicts events related to the life, suffering, and death of Jesus Christ. Tradition has it that a cenakulo is presented for at least eight nights starting from Palm Sunday up to Easter Sunday. The modern version, like the one we watched, usually runs for an hour or two. 

It is usually performed on a stage with a telon serving as a backdrop. This allows for smoother scene transitions and movement of performers. It can also be performed in open spaces like streets.The one we watched had the Christ performer dragging his cross around the venue and I must say it had quite an effect on the audience especially to the children. This was especially so when the Roman soldier started whipping Christ and the wailing of the crying women was heard all over. 

What is the Message of the Cenakulo?

My daughter's innocent question as to what the real message of the cenakulo is, again led me to deeper thinking. I must admit I have often taken such depictions in their face value. I was taught that Christ went through Crucifixion to save mankind and that was that.

When my daughter asked if it was possible for Christ to have saved us without going through such suffering, I said of course. As I grappled for some more explanation to provide her, it slowly dawned on me that Christ's submission to this particular sacrifice was not a sign of weakness or being less godly but rather to show us the way in carrying our own crosses. The show effectively linked Christ's Passion with how we should be facing our own ordeals with courage and resoluteness.

My Say

The show was in every way successful and was made possible with the combined efforts of the church leaders and the parishioners. The parish priest said in his message that it was far easier not to do any preparation of such sort but poses the question as to what good doing nothing would do for all of us. It was a message well received and understood.



That said, there are many more Lenten activities lined up for the rest of the Holy Week and our family would try harder this year to participate more. We hope to do this not only to continue a long-standing tradition among Filipino families but also in the hope that our family will become even more close and united. This is our faith in motion.

Family reunions can be as simple or elaborate as we want it to be, depending on what activities we would like to do during the event. When my brother who is permanently based in another country came visiting last week with his wife, we had a mini-reunion of sorts in a restaurant. Together with our mother, my younger sister, and the kids, we were able to catch up with each other's life as best as we could, given the limited time.




So how do we plan for a successful reunion? Regardless of how many people are involved or where it is to be held, holding a reunion will always require planning. The difference will lie in the degree of difficulty in logistics as the bigger the event, the more planning is required. It obviously also requires more bodies to perform specific tasks.

Steps in Planning a Family Reunion

Determine Invitees

The size of the event will depend on who the invitees will be. Will it be limited to the core family or will it include extended families such as cousins, uncles, in-laws, and so on? Once this is determined, the intention to hold a reunion must be sounded off to these people by the lead organizer for possible inputs in the date, venue, and activities.

Delegate Tasks and Responsibilities

This step is very important especially if there are specific activities sought to be accomplished during the event such as honoring a member of the family. Meetings should be held for further discussion or at the very least constant communication through phone must be done. This is to facilitate updates  or sounding off of difficulties encountered in the task so they can be addressed immediately.

Finalize Date and Venue

Finalizing dates and venues should be done as early as possible to take advantage of more options. The nearer the date, the fewer options there are especially during peak season like Christmas. Even if the designated venue is  the home of one of the members of the family, early setting of date is more advantageous to ensure that more invitees will be available to attend. There will also be other matters to consider like food preparation and decorating the place.

Attend to Other Related Matters

Will you be giving out souvenirs to attendees? Will you be requiring the attendees to come in outfits in accordance with a theme? Will there be special numbers to be performed by family members? Will you have special guests for the occasion? There are actually a lot of small details to attend to so the earlier they are settled, the better.

Follow-up and Confirm

Several days before the event itself, it would be wise to have someone check preparations, follow-up on assigned tasks , and confirm attendance. This is to make sure that last minute kinks can be ironed out, just in case. This is also an opportune time to check if everybody who needs to be invited has been actually invited to avoid unnecessarily hurting the feelings of those who may have been "forgotten" in the confusion of preparing.

My Say

When all the things that need to be done have been done, everybody should settle down and have a good time. In any event, there is bound to be some unexpected mishap so there is no use in organizers beating themselves about it. After all, you are with family and these are the people who are supposed to understand and help.

That said, holding family reunions is a very common practice among Filipinos. Sometimes, we make all kinds of excuses just to hold one. This is one way we can maintain communication with our loved ones as we go back to the comfort of being with family even for a few hours. Children will also be exposed to the practice and will hopefully continue the tradition to ensure that they will never be strangers with their own family.