Should We Force Our Children to Study?

6:04 PM


Parents have the responsibility to ensure that their own children are provided access to the processes that would allow them to lead productive lives in the future. One of the most fundamental processes is that of academic learning which typically requires a number of years of formal schooling. As opposed to practical learning which can be derived from daily life with or without written or oral instructions, academic learning requires specific methodologies to be effective.

When we submit our children to the traditional educational system, we signify our acceptance of school policies. Inherent in these policies is measuring the performance of a child through test results and this is where the stress and pressure commonly felt by children and parents alike arises. The general idea is not simply to pass a certain level but to hurdle it in flying colors through excellent grades.

With the exception of a few gifted children who need not burn the candle lights in order to excel in school, an average child will have to put in considerable effort and time to achieve the same result. Parents are sometimes put in a very perplexing spot when a child hits a particularly rough spot in the learning process. Should parents push or restrain themselves from intervening?

Pushing or forcing a child to study more borders on the thin line that separates supportive and abusive methods. Children have different capabilities and it is the job of the parent to determine their own children's level. By knowing this, parents will be able to determine whether they are dealing with study problems caused by lack of effort or genuine stumbling blocks that can be remedied by environmental changes or professional help.

My Say

I personally do not advocate pushing children's study to the point of punishing them but neither do I advocate allowing children to resign themselves to mediocrity. Parents sometimes make wrong decisions in their eagerness to provide the best opportunities for their children and I have to admit I've had my share. In our home, my children are made to understand that they are expected to do the best they can in the same manner that my husband and I are expected to lend our full support in all aspects of their learning. No one is allowed to give up before the fight is over.

That said, I cannot ask for anything beyond the best of what my children can offer but I will most certainly not settle for their least efforts. When their best has been offered, I rest my case regardless of results.




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45 comments

  1. I think forcing students to study is not a good idea. We should be instilling in them a love for learning by being good models for them, i.e. reading and studying on our own in their view and also thinking of fun activities in which learning in embedded in it. In that way, they can have fun while learning. We can also encourage them to have sports and do other creative games and limit their tv and computer game time.

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  2. I love your post. My daughter is four and I think she is not ready to go to school yet. What makes me think that she is not ready? Every day she changes her mind. The other day she wants to go to school, today she wants to study ballet. Still indecisive. I am not forcing her. If she is not ready, I'll respect that. I want her to enjoy her childhood. She wants to enroll in ballet class. I know that she wants to dance, i see the gleam in her eyes every time she watches the little kids who dance ballet in youtube. If you have time feel free to view my blogs about kids and education.. here's the link http://childrenlearninganddevelopment.blogspot.com/

    Have a blessed day.

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  3. Thanks for reading my post. It takes a mother to understand another. I know exactly how you feel and wish you all the best in raising your child.

    I'll be reading your blogs after this.

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  4. Yes, Argee, I agree with you. It really entails much to be a good role model to our children and I believe most parents, if not all, sincerely desire to do the best they can for their children although it is not always easy.

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  5. Children should not be forced to study but rather encouraged by positive reinforcement and letting them know that's it for their benefit to study.

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  6. I'd say I'd rather encourage my children to study as force is quite a hard word for me.

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  7. I love studying when I was a kid. Kaya now, I don't want to study na..hihihi


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  8. We should not. Forcing children to study too hard can exhaust and overload their brains that can detriment their mental development.

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  9. That's my dilemma since my kids started earlier than usual. But so farm my eldest still wants to finish high school and besides he's enjoying it.

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  10. For me, we don't need to force them instead let them know or explain to them the importance of studies. We should start it at home, let's teach them and give them courage to learn from things :)

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  11. I push my child to study because i know he can do better in school and it works .My eldest is an straight a"s student, if i don't push him to study more then we will just an ordinary student which i ma not happy about.

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  12. I don't think forcing them to study would help. It would just make them resent you.

    It's better if the motivation is intrinsic and that you can clearly show them how learning is fun and how it relates to their life.

    Once they see the relevance of studying to their lives, they'll be more motivated to study.

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  13. That is a very good point Argee.

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  14. "forcing to study" may not be the right phrase or issue. It is how they should study that parents should also focus.

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  15. Hi, Mommy Tere.

    I enrolled my 4-year old son in pre-school last May only to find out that he's not ready yet. :( He promises to go to school next year, though. I'm currently teaching him at home na lang. Buti na lang public school lang yun kundi sayang ang tuition fee.

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  16. My take is to have them realize the benefits of studying. Come up with a rewards system that's not too luxurious but something they will appreciate. When I was younger, I was only allowed to play video games if I had good grades.

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  17. Should We Force Our Children to Study? NO

    We should give them freedom but not too much

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  18. For now, my little boy is still in preschool I do not force him yet to study but I did instill in him a study time. Immediately after school, will do his homeworks such he will get enough time to play.

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  19. Should we 'force' children to study? I think not. I wasn't raised that way, BUT my mother instead showed me consequences of not studying by using some of her students (she's an academic) as examples. I was terrified and later on motivated by this.

    As for children who don't study at all and just tell themselves "I can't do anything about my grades" - I've seen enough of these as classmates to know it's simply an attitude and a character problem. It CAN be fixed but then, 'force' may be necessary.

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  20. I remember a true story about a teacher and her husband who forced their kids to really study hard, to the point of punishing them, because they need to understand the importance of education. This happened during elementary years.. Result: The first born graduated HS Salutatorian; the second one, still in HS, with honors.. It paid off!

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  21. Agreed. They should study when they are comfortable enough but we should always motivate them to study.

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  22. I agree too with your views, the right approach would be is to teach our children the value of education. Ako, I just tell my kids to just enjoy school. Just do their best in classes and if their best fell short with others then so be it.

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  23. You've got an excellent say here. I honestly discourage parents from pushing their children to study or punish them if their kids fail. There are lots of methods that parents can do in order that a study can be meaningful and smooth without putting any pressure to them. Kids are kids. They should enjoy the learning process.

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  24. For me I usually tell my kids: There is TIME to play and there is a TIME TO STUDY. I don't force them to actually study. But motivate them is the right word for that.

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  25. This is a nice post. I agree with you that you don't have to push the kids to study. But still, would not want to settle din sa least of what capacity they have.

    I have a 1st grader, lately, I learned that she's a fast learner and can comprehend really well, so if it's review time, I don't forced her to study and repeat on reading her school topics, madali syang magsawa, lalo na alam nya na. So i just let her play after a one time review.

    Mas maganda performance nya this second grading, na kung saan i let her play after one-time review, as compared to the first grading na talagang ulit-ulit na pagbabasa..

    And besides, kids nowadays are way smarter and brighter than we think of..

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  26. Parents have different ways of disciplining their children and instilling the right perspective in life. I feel that forcing them to study has a negative impact but encouraging, inspiring and motivating them to learn will certainly have optimistic results.

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  27. for me, children will follow what they want in their age. They will choose what they want as long as we know that is right.

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  28. Children are children. We are there to guide them and make sound decisions for them, while they still can't. Should we force them to study? I think so, yes; but never to the point of abuse.

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  29. learning and studying are tow different things ... I go with learning as it can be obtained in a more creative and constructive way rather than the conventional studying where students are forced to follow what is directed them to do without freewill. There are always means to integrate fun learning in studying

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  30. Certainly, Parents have different views in terms of the upbringing of the children, much less to their study habits and I guess there's always the right time to instill in their young mind how to study hard.

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  31. forcing is a harsh word. what would i prefer would be giving prizes for studying..that would motivate them

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  32. agree... I, for one, wasn't forced to study but still did good in school. It's important for the kids to also enjoy studying and not do it because they're afraid of us, parents.

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  33. i teach my daughter at home too though I give her time to all the things she needs to do as wel and dont force her so she enjoys studying

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  34. I agree ms Teresa. guiding our children to become educated is a must but they should also enjoy and find here own path- find here world and excel in here interest/skills

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  35. Forcing doesn't work as the child resents more. The guidance of parents plays a major role. If you show that you are interested in working with them, they get encouraged too.

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  36. i could not remember my parents forced us to study, and i actually admire how they raised us. instead of forcing us to study, we have these family talks, like over dinner, or over family bonding time after dinner, how educations plays an important role in everyone's lives, using themselves and their family as example. they were our inspiration to go to school and do well. aside from education and hardwork, parents taught us too to learn how to make a balance in life which is integral in keeping health, thus our time after school then were not only spent on studying. before dinner, we had "fun outside" time, such as biking or enjoying whatever activity outdoors. after dinner, we also had family time like playing scrabble, chess, boggle, solving puzzles, and then, we have study time ( 7:30 pm to bedtime which was 9:00 pm) where all of us were expected to do our homework, and study during that time. I must admit though i was not really that studious ( i easily get bored studying) that i find the studying time very boring and less mentally stimulating, I rather read more books or solve puzzles or play chess or boggle. but, I know, I could not enjoy those fun time with family if I will not use the time to study, so I did. :)

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  37. We always have different perspective, for me, I believe the learning is by loving and enjoying what you love to learn, the minute you'll force your kids to study, there's only bad ways that would turn it out to be. however, when they are learning and telling them that education is very important? i believe kids will do listen and would love to pursue education. forcing is just not right.

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  38. Forcing doesn't work for some kids. As a mom I just give guidance to my child and explain to her the importance of education at the same time I want her to enjoy in school.

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  39. I am not a parent just yet but I have once worked for an Early Childhood Education Center where ECCD principles and philosophies were strongly adhered to and one amongst them is that "Children Learn Through Play". Kids need to develop study habits but parents must make sure that their children enjoy what they are doing.

    Like you've mentioned, children have different capabilities and parents must be able to know first-hand where to draw the line in letting them do things that is beyond their mental and physical capacities.

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  40. I believe FORCING is not the right word. Instead it must be MOTIVATING.. Just let our kids to their best and we as parent be always there to give our 101% support.

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  41. For me, anything that involves forcing to do things and taking away the fun and love in the learning process is not appropriate, let alone, forcing the children to study. I am a homeschooler and I do set schedules for my student-daughter to teach her responsibility and proper time management but whenever she asks for a break, I always give her that time. Like I said, I am not an advocate of learning something without love and willingness in the process.

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  42. I really enjoy reading your post, this is a very big help for me as I don't know what to answer when I first hit your blog post. The gravity of your explanation makes me think for some reason that I am wrong, good thing my daughter is not yet studying but seriously you hit me in some points. At least I can correct myself early as today on what should I do the time my daughter started studying.

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  43. It's hard to force our kids to study 'cause for sure, they won't learn too. In my daughter's case, who is in Kinder, we study in a form of play and she really enjoys it and learning too as well.

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  44. If I have my own kids, I will let them understand the importance of studying well. I'll be there to guide them but not to the point of forcing them to face their books and notes.

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  45. Hmmm I think yes if the child seems to be not giving interest to study or to learn.

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