Just Passing Thru: July 2012

How to be a Good Person

6:52 PM

To be a good person is not an easy thing to do. In fact it is an everyday struggle for every human being. In our quest to be good, we try to find ways that will lead us to such state of mind and being.

An often-repeated story about the struggle of man between good and bad goes something like this:

A child asked his grandfather if man is naturally good or bad. The grandfather answered that every man has a good wolf and a bad wolf inside of him. And so the child asked, "Who will win then grandfather?" The grandfather answered, "The wolf you feed is the one who will win."

This story is trying to make us understand that there is inherent goodness and badness in every human. What will determine who we will be are the choices we make that feed the corresponding "wolf". We feed the good wolf through joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, compassion, and faith. The bad wolf is fed by anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

One way that can lead us towards the good is to find good company. This means people who will support us in your efforts to make ourselves better. These people will not judge us in our failures but prefer to encourage us to rise up and try again.

I recently had the good fortune of being invited to be part of a group in our place called the BEC. The BEC or Basic Ecclesial Community is actually made up of several smaller communities like the one I joined which basically encourages ordinary lay people to actively participate in the life and mission of the Church. One of the things that encouraged me to join was the active participation of the parish priest through his constant presence in our weekly meetings and the genuine enthusiasm of group members.

My Say

I would probably be exaggerating if I say that the people in our group are "saintly" good. Like me, they are not. However, I can safely say that these are people who are definitely trying to be good and that is actually what matters most. Given our situation here on earth, it would be impossible to achieve perfection.

That said, as we continue our way towards the perfection of real goodness, we will succeed a little,we will fail a little, but this should never stop us from trying to be good person.

children

Children of my Children

11:01 PM

creative writing

When a Writer Gets Personal

10:24 PM

family and parenting

A Mother's Fear

7:25 PM

This photo has always brought chills to my heart, not because it shows a dead person but because it shows my father (the smallest boy with bow tie) and his older brothers mourning the death of their mother at a very tender age. I cannot fully fathom the feelings of children who are left by one or both parents much too soon. I even wonder how the mother feels (if there is such a thing as feelings after life) for having to leave such unprepared and innocent beings behind.

Leaving my children too early has been my secret fear for a long time. I became aware of it from the moment I had my first child. I feel responsible for seeing through all my children's needs to the end that I actually feel scared that something will happen to prevent me from doing that. The desire to protect them at all cost and provide the best for them came on instinct and not by some complex motherly plan or delegation.

If there was such a thing as a plan, it would be to stay alive at least until my children are able to take care of themselves. I would consider it a gift if I will still be here until my youngest has her own family. I have managed my fear so far with prayers, believing that God will let me finish His plan for me.

Yesterday however, my secret fear came rushing back to my senses after an indescribable pain came over my body after an especially stressful event. My initial thoughts were on my children. Will they be alright without me? Will they get to finish school? Can my husband manage by himself? And then there is still my last obligation to my father - Ambos Mundos. Will I get to finish it in time?

So many things to do, so little time. Oh Lord, Give me time...

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. ~ Author Unknown

My Say

I trust that God knows what's best.

That said, I know there is nothing to fear.

flood

Stuck in Traffic: What to Do When There is Nothing to Do But Wait

2:06 AM

Last Saturday, my family and I were on a special mission to bring flowers to Pililla to be used for the procession of its patron saint, St. Mary Magdalene on the celebration of the town fiesta on Sunday. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law usually do this task every year but were unable to do so this time because of a death in the family. Since there was no one else, we had to fill in and perform this very important task.

We knew that come hell or high water, we had to do this, not realizing that high water literally awaited us on our way. Because of the non-stop rain brought by the typhoon, the streets of Metro Manila and neighboring areas were again flooded. Traffic was at a stand-still after the Nichols Exit because the water at the Magallanes area was knee-deep. Whether we like it or not, we were stuck in traffic and had nowhere to go.

My children were understandably restless. It was also hot inside the car as we had to turn off the air-conditioning as we were not moving for more than an hour. We can not even open the windows as rain would come in. I felt anxious as besides the great discomfort, the children were already starting to complain, especially the younger one. I knew I had to think of something to take our minds off our predicament before we are all reduced to tears with sheer exasperation.

And then I remembered that my daughter had an assignment to memorize the song "Tomorrow" for a graded performance on Monday. With a little prodding, my daughter practiced the song right there and then. At first, she did it grudgingly but after a while she started enjoying it especially when she noticed that we would break out in laughter when we would all join in and hit the notes quite badly. Before we realized it, a part of the expressway is being opened to allow cars to make a u-turn to find other ways to reach our respective destinations and we were finally on our way via a much longer route.

It was a good thing that we had some snacks and drinks with us or else the situation could have been a lot worse. We also had a fully charged cellphone with sufficient load which allowed us to communicate with people who were getting anxious about our delay. And of course, we prayed for a safe journey in spite of the prevailing circumstances. However, I reminded myself to be more ready next time by stocking up on some activity books or games inside the car to entertain the kids the next time a similar situation arises.

It was a long and tiring day as we encountered several other flooded areas along the way but we went home happy because we accomplished what we set out to do.

The reason for our mission :St. Mary Magdalene, the
Patron Saint of Pililla, Rizal

coping with stress

Coping With Everyday Stresses In Life

2:48 PM

Coping with everyday stresses in life is easier said than done but it can be achieved.

If I had my way, I would probably be writing for pleasure the most part of the day. Writing because I need to is rather stressful because of the deadlines involved, Life, as I learned, does not follow a rigid schedule according to what we want. Apart from what we want, we have responsibilities, duties, and obligations to others.

Isn't it true that no matter how much we plan for a day, a week, a month, or even a year, there is always something unexpected that will crop up along the way? These unexpected things usually result to unfinished work and non-performance of certain duties we may have for our family and other people. The more these unfinished tasks pile up, the more stressed-out we become.

It is always a good thing to have a schedule of things to do but we should wise-up to the fact that not everything will always go as planned. Rather than stressing-out ourselves to the limits of physical and mental exhaustion, we should learn to give allowances to some "interruptions" that will come, no matter how hard we try to avoid them. Sometimes as we travel through life, we are like horses who have a single front view, with both side views blocked, in our earnest intent to achieve our goals. If such a strategy works for a single horse race, it might not be advisable for us humans who race through life with other concerns besides winning.

People have different ways of coping with stress. There are vacations, personal wellness activities such as yoga and massages, hobbies, or simply resting. These are all good and we are all encouraged to find that thing or things that can help us cope with stress since it is a given in everyday life. The practice of our personal faith is another way of not only coping but going beyond and above our trials and difficulties.

My Say

No one is immune from stress. Even our children who are supposed to be enjoying life to the fullest seem to be especially stressed with the demands of studying and growing up. Life, it appears has become so complicated that our children are being forced to grow up sooner than they should. Adults should lead the way in showing them how it is done.

That said, let us relieve ourselves of the unnecessary stresses so that we will have enough strength to tackle the necessary ones.

Ayala low cost housing developments

Buying Your First House

11:55 PM

family and parenting

My Parents-in-Law

6:31 PM

bully

The Portrait of a Bully

7:28 AM

Image Source: stopbullying.gov

I had a very interesting exchange of stories with other parents in my children's school today. The Parents Committee of which I am a member, was tasked to program parenting seminars for the school-year. In determining which areas are the most important, school bullying surfaced as one of the hottest topics.

Bullying is defined as the act of of terrorizing or threatening a weaker person. The determination of who is weak largely depends on the eyes of a person who thinks that he is stronger. Therefore, the bully will have to see the weak point first before he "attacks".

The underlying principle of bullying lies in the very weakness of the bully - his inability to take action without the assurance of winning. The arrogance of the bully comes from believing that he has the upper-hand and in so being imagines a state of superiority where he has none. He draws his strength in numbers and revels in the mob mentality.

A bully presents a picture of confidence to cover up his insecurities. He can inflict physical pain on another by choosing a target of smaller physical built or one who is not backed up by a big circle friends. And if by some twisted nature he wishes to preserve a good image by not being an obvious bully, he can resort to words and actions designed to break the spirit of the target thereby showing no physical marks but leaving wounds just the same.

Parents can do a lot to help their children manage this kind of menace in their lives. By being there for them, by truly knowing them, by listening to their veiled pleas for help and by defending them when required, we can help them realize that they are not inferior in any way as the bullies would like them to believe. Bullies are the weak ones, they are the ones who need help fast. They are very much mistaken to think that they dictate what happens to others just because they had the gal to imagine their possession of strength.

Image Source: beliefnet.com

My Say

I cannot understand why someone would purposely make another person's life miserable by bullying. It is probably one of the senseless acts of humans on other people they hardly even know except perhaps what is seen on the outside. Excuse me for saying this as I rarely allow myself to release scathing remarks especially on print. Why is it that the bullies who dare torment other people because of being ugly, fat, short, different-sounding, alien-looking, or any other excuse to put down the bullied person, are not exactly fine-looking themselves? In fact, when the bully and the bullied are made to stand side-by-side, it is usually the bully who has more to be ashamed of. The flaws of a bully actually shouldn't matter in the first place but to hear him or her making life hard for another because of the same flaws is really downright repulsive.

That said, I personally believe that bullying stems from gross insecurity which is sought to be hidden by "coolness and authority". It is not a crime to be different . It is a crime for a bully to punish someone because he or she thinks the bullied person is not up to his or her "personal standards" of normalcy. So many have already died because someone else had a "brilliant idea" that they were not fit to walk this earth.

Parents, look after your children...

AMBOS MUNDOS RESTAURANT

Customer Service - the Ambos Mundos Restaurant Way

4:09 AM

Dolphy

The Dolphy Legacy

12:16 AM

Rodolfo "Dolphy" Vera Quizon July 25, 1928 - July 10, 2012

Image: Facebook

Very few people are given the chance to touch the lives of millions by virtue of their craft. One such person is our country's acknowledged King of Comedy - Dolphy. For more than six decades, he entertained many of us through his movies and long-running TV shows.

It is not surprising that many of us feel a tinge of sorrow when it was announced that he passed away last night at the age of 83 after a lingering illness, even if we are not personally acquainted to him. Maybe it was because of the everyday roles that he played in his shows that help us to easily identify with him or maybe it was the familiarity of being constantly exposed to his performances. In short, he was a constant presence in our regular TV and movie watching and therefore, our lives.

Whether it was a conscious decision or not for him, I was always thankful that he did not succumb to the call of politics lest his real purpose in life of entertaining people will be set aside or his image be tarnished by controversy. He remained faithful to his craft to the very end. In return, he is rewarded by a legacy that not only his family can partake of but the whole Filipino nation as well.

In one of his TV specials, I remember Dolphy saying something to this effect: "Kahit hindi ko na kayo kapiling, kailangan nyo lang pindutin ang play button at makakapagchikahan at magkakachurvahan pa rin tayo." ( Even if I am no longer with you, all you need to do is press the play button and we will still be together.)

Delivered in typical Dolphy humor, he acknowledges the fact that the time will come that he will no longer be in this world while showing confidence that he will be leaving enough for him to be remembered by. And that is what we call legacy.

Postscript: I hope he finally convinces my father to dance.

Nickelodeon

In the Eyes of a Child - The Robot Zoo Experience

2:16 AM

Auntie Mel

Cheerful Giver, Grateful Receiver

8:59 AM

Do you know someone who radiates so much positive vibe that it is always a pleasure to be in her company? I do. She is an aunt of my husband and we call her Auntie Mel.

Among the relatives of my husband, she is probably the one I'm closest to. I have observed the she appears to be the best friend of my mother-in-law. And because she lived close to where we used to live, my husband was informally designated by my mother-in-law to take charge of visiting Auntie Mel from time to time especially on special occasions wherein she cannot be physically present to be with her friend/cousin. In the process, I and my children became close to her in addition to my husband who unabashedly admits his long-standing love and respect for Auntie Mel since a young boy.

It was easy to understand why she is loved by so many. She epitomizes giving until it hurts and receiving with endless gratitude. For her, it is not what she gets that is important, it is about the fact that you remembered. In our surprise visits, she will literally ransack her personal belongings to find anything that she could give to my children, always...

My children began to look forward to occasions at her house because of the expected throwing of coins which they enjoyed so much. When she runs out of coins, she brings out the candies from her small home sari-sari store and throws them as well to the delight of the children. She is most happy when others are happy, especially the children.

Our visits became few and far between when we transferred to another place and when she as well transferred to another. We remained in contact because she will pass by our house in Manila whenever she had to go to the area to serve in church. But these visits also became few because she got sick. Still, she will not fail to initiate contact with us whenever her conditions permit.

Yesterday, we finally had the chance to visit her again. Like always, she was almost in tears upon seeing us , especially since my husband's family was complete including his sister and brother who also came with their respective families. There was also Mama Ising (sister of my mother-in-law) who came with her daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

Of course, there was again coin throwing. She also gave every child a crisp twenty peso bill which the children used right away to buy candies from her sari-sari store which only further amused her. We exchanged stories about each other, about the other relatives she has not seen for quite some time, and about our lives in general.

After we sang a Happy Birthday song for her, she announced that it was the happiest birthday yet of her life. As always, she was very easy to please. Her gratitude makes you feel that you have done something so enormous for her that you will go home feeling good about yourself. Auntie Mel is a cheerful giver and a grateful receiver. She will always occupy a special place in our hearts.

AMBOS MUNDOS RESTAURANT

AMBOS MUNDOS RESTAURANT - the Home of Filipino and Spanish Dishes

4:45 PM

family

In Full Circle

9:16 PM

children's costumes

Supporting Our Child's Activities in School

5:53 PM

My youngest daughter loves being part of any school activity that requires her to dress up for the role. The excitement we see in her whenever she does manage to be included in such an activity is so genuine that we find it hard to tell her not to. It isn't that we don't like her to be active in school, in fact, we do. The main problem here is having to produce the required costumes. Mothers like me can readily identify with this dilemma given the high cost of ready-made costumes, and to think that it will only be used for several hours at the most.

The simplest children's costume can easily run up to a thousand pesos especially if accessories will be required to complete the look. We bought costumes for her for the first two activities she joined but later found a more cost-effective way of supporting my daughter's interest. My husband and I became "experts" in converting her existing clothes into convincing costumes.

Every time her need for a costume arises, the first thing we do is find one or two clothes of hers that will form the basic costume. After which, I raid my supply of trinkets and accessories which are comprised of previously used and worn items. Most of them came from my mother who has a propensity for buying accessories that are in fashion. Whenever she tires of these accessories, she knows who to call on disposal time - me.

My husband for his part taps on his artistic talent to come up with accessories that will have to be handcrafted from available art supplies. By sheer determination, we will come up with something to wear for my daughter in spite of limited funds. We even manage to surprise ourselves with some of the most outstanding results of our efforts.

My Say

There are times that it will be difficult to support our children's activities, interests, and dreams. It is during these times that parents learn to be resourceful because whatever our situation, we will always be the last persons to want our children to appear "lacking" in parental support.

Today, my daughter plays the part of a strawberry for their school's annual celebration of Nutrition Month. Nothing beats seeing her proudly wearing the fruits (pun intended) of our efforts.

That said, I am expecting more creative challenges to come as my husband and I continuously support our children's activities in school. If there are schools like Preshil that encourages children to follow their passion and discover their potential, we parents can do no less to our own children.