Handling a Child's Performance in School6:56 AM
The first quarterly exams of my children in school was scheduled for last week put pushed through only this week because of the forced vacation brought upon by the non-stop rains and flood. My children were ecstatic with every day of announcement of no classes. As for me, I wasn't as thrilled as them not only because I knew what kind of tragedy this kind of unpredictable weather can bring to us and other people, but also because of the prolonged burden of the unfinished exams. Every exams week is a dreaded time not only for my children but also for myself who studies with them.
I know for a fact that it isn't just me. Many mothers I talk to in school feel exactly the same way. We all look forward to the end of every examination week for four quarters in a school year, maybe much more than our children do. Sometimes, our children appear more relaxed than we are that we cannot help laughing at the realization that we might just be taking the tests too seriously.
Notwithstanding this realization, we still cannot help but feel anxious just the same. After all, we are the ones who will hear the verdict of their school performance from their teachers when card-giving day comes. It is us who will have to hear where are children are supposed to be needing more support. For any parent who is fully involved in his/her children's studies, the comments, however well-intentioned come out more personal than they should.
Truly supportive parents literally die a little every time they have to receive not-so-good news about their child's performance in school whether in relation to academics or conduct. They tend to question their capability to provide sufficient support for their child in school matters. Many go through a cycle of guilt trips, racking their brains to determine where they still could have possibly gone wrong in spite of such obvious dedication to the welfare of their child.
Many parenting books suggest allowing the children their independence especially in studies and school relationships. It is quite difficult however for parents not to intervene especially when they very well know that the difference between passing and failing or between simply passing and excelling is just a little parental nudge. Real-life parents want their children to succeed and it is probably the height of hypocrisy when we say we don't want that for own children.
It is so difficult to find the right balance in every parent-child issue. There is simply no clear-cut single answer to every question that arises. Parents can only do the best they can and fervently hope that they have done enough.
That said, tomorrow is the last day of exams, tomorrow I can finally heave a sigh of relief until the next quarter comes. Maybe several tomorrows after that, I can finally leave the studying to my children.