The Portrait of a Bully7:28 AM
|Image Source: stopbullying.gov|
I had a very interesting exchange of stories with other parents in my children's school today. The Parents Committee of which I am a member, was tasked to program parenting seminars for the school-year. In determining which areas are the most important, school bullying surfaced as one of the hottest topics.
Bullying is defined as the act of of terrorizing or threatening a weaker person. The determination of who is weak largely depends on the eyes of a person who thinks that he is stronger. Therefore, the bully will have to see the weak point first before he "attacks".
The underlying principle of bullying lies in the very weakness of the bully - his inability to take action without the assurance of winning. The arrogance of the bully comes from believing that he has the upper-hand and in so being imagines a state of superiority where he has none. He draws his strength in numbers and revels in the mob mentality.
A bully presents a picture of confidence to cover up his insecurities. He can inflict physical pain on another by choosing a target of smaller physical built or one who is not backed up by a big circle friends. And if by some twisted nature he wishes to preserve a good image by not being an obvious bully, he can resort to words and actions designed to break the spirit of the target thereby showing no physical marks but leaving wounds just the same.
Parents can do a lot to help their children manage this kind of menace in their lives. By being there for them, by truly knowing them, by listening to their veiled pleas for help and by defending them when required, we can help them realize that they are not inferior in any way as the bullies would like them to believe. Bullies are the weak ones, they are the ones who need help fast. They are very much mistaken to think that they dictate what happens to others just because they had the gal to imagine their possession of strength.
|Image Source: beliefnet.com|
I cannot understand why someone would purposely make another person's life miserable by bullying. It is probably one of the senseless acts of humans on other people they hardly even know except perhaps what is seen on the outside. Excuse me for saying this as I rarely allow myself to release scathing remarks especially on print. Why is it that the bullies who dare torment other people because of being ugly, fat, short, different-sounding, alien-looking, or any other excuse to put down the bullied person, are not exactly fine-looking themselves? In fact, when the bully and the bullied are made to stand side-by-side, it is usually the bully who has more to be ashamed of. The flaws of a bully actually shouldn't matter in the first place but to hear him or her making life hard for another because of the same flaws is really downright repulsive.
That said, I personally believe that bullying stems from gross insecurity which is sought to be hidden by "coolness and authority". It is not a crime to be different . It is a crime for a bully to punish someone because he or she thinks the bullied person is not up to his or her "personal standards" of normalcy. So many have already died because someone else had a "brilliant idea" that they were not fit to walk this earth.
Parents, look after your children...